Taking on Age-Old Advice About Being the Smartest in the Room
In life and in business, we sometimes tend to rely on old adages that we’ve always heard without giving too much thought. At the very least, we repeat them as if they were gospel. The more dogmatic among us may base our decisions and interactions around them. My more questioning nature won’t let me operate that way! I’d like to push back on a particular statement that I’ve heard a few times recently.
“If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.”
On the surface, it sounds solid. Surround yourself with people who know more, who are doing more, who have already achieved what you want to do. And you absolutely should do that. But if everyone follows this sentiment, how does that happen? If we all choose to only associate with those who are on the next level, there is no one to associate with us where we are.
Instead, the paradigm that the most influential people follow is that they should be in multiple rooms. Why? Because our acumen levels differ depending on the topic. While I can give quite a bit of insight regarding public speaking and making presentations, my knowledge of investing, for example, is not as vast. Obviously, this means that I shouldn’t be the smartest in a conversation regarding investments, stocks and bonds, etc. I should be seeking out people I can learn from. But when it comes to my area of expertise, my goal should not be only to learn from others, but to foster growth and understanding in others.
So it is important to not only be able to move in different circles, but to also understand what your role is within that group. This requires a good bit of self-awareness, as you need to be honest with yourself about what you know, what you lack, your motives for being “in the room,” etc. It also means that you need to have the emotional intelligence to read the room, deducing the needs of others, their receptiveness to new information, and how to best assist their growth.
Want some insight into how to maximize your presence in those different circles? Here are some things to consider.
When you’re the smartest (or most accomplished, wealthiest, most talented, whatever) in the room:
Try to guide others through the thought process but let them reach their conclusions on their own. The goal is not to make decisions for others, or to have them think just like you. Instead you want them to be able to think rationally and logically about the topic at hand. Walking them through your own process or offering guidance if they seem to be stuck is great, but be careful that you don’t force your views on others.
Provide resources and insight. Sometimes the only difference between ignorance and knowledge is being directed to where information can be found. Sharing resources has a two-fold benefit. One is that it somewhat lessens the work that you have to do as the “expert” in the room by allowing others to find information for themselves. Additionally, and I believe more importantly, it gives them tools for further learning and self-empowerment. It’s the old “give a man a fish, teach a man to fish” principle in practice.
Don’t do all the talking. Even if you are truly the smartest person in your circle, you aren’t doing anyone any favors when you dominate the conversation. Doing so breeds resentment, which affects your effectiveness. The other reason you need to stop and let others have the floor? You actually don’t know everything, even as the smartest in the room. Shocker, I know!
Leave if you are going to talk down to the others in the room. Looking down your nose is indicative of a person who needs to feel superior and if that’s you, clear for someone else who has better motives.
And when you’re not:
Leave your defensiveness at the door. Being too attached to what you know (and your ignorance about what you don’t know), the way you’ve always done things, and how you approach change will limit your openness. While you may be challenged as you learn, remember that it is not an attack, but a chance to grow.
Be willing to do the work. Don’t look for anything to be dropped into your lap and don’t expect it to be easy. Improvement is a process that requires time and effort. If you won’t invest in yourself, don’t expect phenomenal returns.
Listen… but don’t be afraid to speak up. You will always learn more when you listen versus when you talk, no doubt about it. So when those with more knowledge or experience share with you, keep an open ear and an open mind. That doesn’t mean that you have nothing to contribute. Ask your questions. Speak your opinion. Share how you’ve done it in the past. You may talk yourself right into the answers you need, or you may have perspective that others don’t.
Take what you need, leave what you don’t. When it comes to success there is no one path. When it comes to how we apply what we know, there are different ways of doing that. While it’s critical that you understand the facts of whatever you are trying to master, know that you cannot and do not need to be a clone of those who have done what you aspire to do. So some things that worked for them will benefit you, and some would be best left on the table. Weigh the pros and cons, try out their suggestions, and make the judgment call about what you need to do.